An unwelcomed, unexpected visitor

I opened the door. And I gasped.

Me : Why you place the broom stick on the bed?!

Wy: I tell you, you better don’t stand on the floor.

Me : Why?

Wy : There is a xxx…

AaaaaaaahhhhhhHHHHH…….. (Hysterical screams follow)

INTI Subang Jaya – There is a terrorist attack in L9-12 (female hostel) in INTI Subang Jaya. Luckily, no death, no injury. But it sure had panicked the victim, Oo Wan. The terrorist escaped and is unable to be traced.

According to the one and only one witness of the incident (Oo Wan also), the terrorist started the ambush at 3 am in the morning. She played a freezing game with the terrorist. They looked eyes to eyes for an hour or so. Nobody dare to take the first move.

Finally, she gave up. And cocooned herself up in blanket and sank into her dreamland uneasily.

The fearsome terrorist that makes all my hair stand straight each time I hear his name is COCKROACH!!
Here it goes again... My hair all standing on the ends the way we did when the national anthem is being played (not to show my respect to that creature, obviously)

Without hesitation, we declared emergency and held a meeting, planning the military counterattack that we should make.
We started to search for it everywhere that may be its suspicious hiding place.

Under the bed. Checked.
In my boxes of books (though I think that it is clearly a cockroach and not a book worm. Yet, safety first) Checked.
On top of cupboard. Checked.
In the sandwich maker (which I doubted that a cockroach would like to be sandwiched nor I would like to have a cockroach sandwich. YUCKSSS....!!!!!)

After a lot of moving and shifting every objects that has physical contact with the floor, and a lot of screamings (it is a shame to say that we were actually scared by the flying DUST that gave us an optical illusion of the flying insect).
Okay.
The coast is clear.
Not even a single sight of the disgusting organism. So far so good.

Prevention is better than cure.
So we went to shop for weapons:

Shieldtox insecticide+naphthalene balls
See who scare who?! Hahah....

Besides, to ensure a double protection, we even pasted card boards along the door slit so that it is really cockcroachproof (at least I really hope so).

To INTI security guard: We pay rental and yet we need to flash our residential card to gain entrance into the hostel. And I don't think why the Mr. Cockroach can gain entrance so easily to the extend of intruding our privacy even they never pay their rental. It is just so unfair.... :-(

Okay then. Mr. Cockroach, let's have an agreement. If you promise not to intrude into my life anymore, I swear that I will NEVER EVER eat CHEESE....

Where You Can Be Yourself

Often people put on a mask whenever they are, camouflaging their true personalities with the character they desired. However, there is one place where it is impossible to hide who they are. The true self will be revealed without their own conscious.

So, where is it?

This is the place -WASHROOM!

Don't rub your eyes in disbelieve. Your eyes are okay. Ya. It is washroom.

It is a place where we can feel free to express ourselves. We do things that we dare not to do in front of others. You sing at the top of your voice, freely, without having to care for other's bad comment .You can even do some sexy moves or break dancing when you bath.
You may sing off-key or even break the glass. You may looks clumsy while moving your poor-coordinated body.
But who cares? You are satisfied with yourself. You are the toilet singing king, the bathroom dancing queen.
You can even fart out loud, without having apologise to anyone, cloud yourself comfortably in the aroma of your body's toxic gas.

Idiosyncratic behaviour is often magnified in a confined space, and hitherto unnoticed habits can be seen clearly in the washroom.
If you are a cleanliness freak. There will not even a strain of loose hair lying around in the toilet. You can even smell rose in the toilet.
The floor is scrubbed to sparkling mirror shine and the toilet bowl is as clean as the sink, you might as well wash your face there (but i doubt anyone will do that).



What you do in toilet is a reflection of you.
If you often experience constipation and spend hours in forcing your poop out (nearly got your head exploded), you know who you are.
You are 99% a person who drinks very little water, consumes diet with low fibre content and lacks exercising.

It had been a habit of mine to bring along something to read while I am going to do my business. In fact, I found out that it is a better place to study than the library.
There is no other distraction. No laptop. No TV. No friend to chat. And no nagging!
Sometimes the book may come in handy when you are having intense stomachache.

One's level of responsibility can be seen clearly in toilet (I don't mean that you can see it with your own eyes. It is rude to peep). There are many who have bad toilet manners. That's why signs are placed in public toilet to educate people how to do their business in a CORRECT manner, hoping to bring them to realise that what they did for years may be just far from correct.


*I wonder how people do the last pose. It seems to posses certain level of difficulty to perform.


To my own surprise, washroom can be a playground to some too... It just tells you how creative they are in turning a toilet into their wonderland.


Anyway, be yourself everywhere. But bare in mind that not everywhere is washroom.

Caffeine

LOUD silence.
Apart from the tickling of the clock, and the blowing of the freezing cold air from the air conditioner, there is no sound.
The stillness is deafening.

I had always enjoy the solitude:
long hours of drama-ing, intersperse with copious amount of food (biscuits and bread are always my favourite), and a dress code that sometimes doesn't extend beyond pajamas.

But it is not the case now.
Not when I am having insomnia.
And I have to wake up early the next day.

Caffeine!!!
It has to be blamed.
For the aroma it has, so tempting and luring.
From a tiny little sip,
I slurped,
and I gulped greedily.
Filling every taste bud of mine with the bitter sweet liquid
Satisfying my crave.

The cost of it?

A free pair of sunglasses.

Alas!
It is a sleepless night again!

Are you any better than cow?

Have you ever wonder where man go after their death?
Heaven? Hell?
I am sure nobody is silly enough to offer his spirit to the hell.
Then how can you be sure there is a place for you in heaven? Can you go to heaven to enjoy an eternal life?

As a Christians, I believe anyone who believe in Jesus Christ is saved. Anyone who believes is guaranteed a place in heaven. It is just as simple as ABC. You believe in Him, then you are saved.
The proof is in the bible itself.

He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of of the only begotten Son of God.
~John 3:18

Non-Christians believes that they can find your own path to heaven by doing good. And the big question mark is: It is impossible for mankind not to sin, even once. Don't tell me you never lie.

And, if by doing good alone can bring you to heaven, then one thing that is sure- the heaven is full packed with COWS, not man.
Why do I say so?

Cows never sin. Cows are good. Cows do works for mankind. They plough. They give us milk. And best of all? They never complain and work for us for the whole life. After they die, they give us their meat and organs.

And you think you are better than cows?

Heaven helps me!!

Learning is tough. Learning a language is tougher. Learning English is toughest.

I began to worry: how am I going to score well in IELTS with my "Taiplish"?
Because of the exam fees is really tremendously, horrendously, extremely and dreadfully expensive, I decided that I MUST start learning ENGLISH.

I had always heard people saying that the best way to improve your language is to talk more.
Practice makes perfect!
And you learn faster by applying it in your daily lives.

Does that means......

When I am learning synonyms, I have to talk like this:
"Wow, the shopping mall is huge, behemothic, enormous, gargantuan, gigantic, humongous, stupendous, towering, large and big!"
"The kid or moppet, or tot, or child, or bairn, or the little one is so or very, or extremely, or remarkably cute, adorable, charming, pretty and dainty."

Huh.... So tiring! To do that I suppose I must have an incredibly big brain capacity (to remember all the vocabulary) and a huge lung capacity (to say all the words out in a single breath).
Not to mention the odd stares that I will get from others.

And if I am learning idioms? Oh no, I dare not think. I give up.

Perhaps I should sit back and learn from the most basic thing-plural and singular nouns.
But then I got lost in a maze, banging myself into dead ends repeatedly. I just can't understand.

If radius radii
fungus fungi
why hippopotamus hippopotami

If tooth teeth
goose geese
why door deer

Why? Why? Why?
I just don't get it. Perhaps, there is no logical explanation. You can never learn English the mathematical way.
Then I figured out that great mathematicians like Pythagoras had so much problems with their English that they started inventing symbols and equations. Saving time and energy.
Smart guys!

In order to master something, you must starts from the beginning. So I think it will be best for me to learn from the pronunciation of words instead.
Who knows?
Pronunciation is so much difficult than I thought. Enunciating the word right is not a ABC task.
And this always brings up troubles.

A : My grandma (i mean, grammar) is very bad.
B : Really? Why is she bad?
A : Grammar has gender?! It is a she?!

Not funny....
Well, at least I'm not alone in this world. I came across a column where the columnist said that she had difficulty pronouncing the words "larva" and "lava", "coma" and "comma" right.

"But why anyone would want to live at the foot of an active volcano is beyond comprehension. At some stage, you might find yourself having to flee for your life as a river of molten larva rushes towards your house. In your haste, you could easily trip and knock your head on the ground, and end up in a comma for the rest of your life."
~Quoted from How do you say it, by Mary Schneider.

Learning English definitely takes a lifetime.

Love him, love him not......

Love him, love him not, love him, love him not....

What should I do with him?
Sometimes, he is just so cute and I will thank God for sending him into my life.
Sometimes, I just want to strangle him to death!!
Two contradicting feelings...
Back to the question: Love him? love him not??

I was waiting impatiently, so looking forward to go to Malacca especially after my friends told me about the shop "tart tart" that sells lots of tarts (you can know that from the name) and nyonya dumpling. I can't wait to savour all the delicacies... Oh.... How many times had I fantasising in placing the tart in my mouth, slowly chewing it, tasting it. And the nyonya dumpling which I never knew exist in this world until recently.

Dying to go Malacca!! To eat and to play (of course I'll somehow cheat my bro into paying all that for me)

I had thought of all the possibilities, that my parents will object, that the bus tickets sold out, etc etc... But I had left out the most important one, the theory I set up myself long ago.
And the theory is, GUYS at their 20s are just SO x 10¹⁰⁰⁰ VACILLATING!!!

The story goes like this:
He says : Visit me in Malacca anytime you want. I'll be free. (He finished his
exam, and having a break now)
Me says : Sure. How about this Tues?
He says : It'll be fine. Just to give me a call before you come.

Agreement reached. Both parties were equally happy (at least I was).

Few hours later......

Me says : Mama, I going to visit ko in Malacca on Tues wo, can a?
Mama says : Huh?? He told me he is coming back Taiping on Mon?


@%#@%#@*^@*&#*
My bro!!!

Few minutes later.....

Me says : You said I can go visit you on Tues and you told mama that you are
going back on Mon? What does that mean?
He says : Oh, I'm not going back anymore. I have stuff to do.


&#&@$^*#%$A#)%&
That's my bro!!!


For the next few days, he kept changing his mind.
Going back Taiping, staying back Malacca, coming KL to see her gf...
Until now, his is still in Malacca. And then gone my tarts, my nyonya dumplings. GREAT!
(Hopefully he won't see this. I still wish there is someone that pay for my shopping in future)

But there are times that he is really sweet. That you feel fortunate to have a bro (quite rarely though)

Me says : Mama doesn't let me go Malacca le. She said got Meningitis wo.
He says : No worry. You won't be affected for sure. You're immune.
Me says : Huh? Why say so?
He says : Well, you don't have the organ the virus attack what.

I throw him a look of bewilderment.

He says : The brain. You have NO BRAIN. Hahahaha....

Love him? Love him not?
Sigh....

Cheras Pasar Malam

Here it is. The place I've longed to go...

This is why i am here. This is the reason why I go Cheras, not because of wanting to pay a visit to my old friend nor interested in UCSI. (I wish my old friend don't know this, I don't want her to treat me eat "chou tou fu")








The Cheras Night Market.

It's said to be the longest pasar malam in Malaysia.
Can you see the end of it? (Don't tell me you can, because I myself cannot)

Well, the mission I am here is to eat and eat and eat. Nothing else.




The toufu bakar is delicious. The crispy toufu bakar, the hard-to-chew dried squid, together with the little-spicy sauce make a wonderful snack.

Oh.... There is some crispy looking yellow pieces in the picture, right?
Well, to be honest, I can't remember what is it already. Forgive me, for, I have Alzheimer's.






Okay, there is no point for me to narrate out what I had eaten. It'll bring you to sleep in front of your computer. Lets go straight to the point.

Among all the food that I have tasted in the pasar malam. The most unforgettable one will be the "Chow Toufu". Smell the aroma thousand miles away.....

The stench fills your nostrils the moment you are in 100m (or more) radius away.
The weird thing is that many will search for the source of that horrible smell and QUEUE UP to buy "Chou Toufu".

Driven by curiosity and mostly my silliness, I join the crowd.
The moment I am struggling whether to buy the "Chou Tou fu" or not, the one queueing in front of me turn to me and said:

"It really smells horrible. The first time I tasted it, I even vomited. But I mastered my courage to taste it the second time, and I love it. So next time when I smell the busuk aroma, I will search for it and not running away from it."

What's so special about that smelly toufu that makes people so crazy about it?
I finally buy 4 pieces of that smelly toufu and try on them. It is best eaten with some kimchi, that is what i was told.
So, I put a lot of kimchi on the smelly toufu, wishing to cover the stinking smell and EAT it...

MY GOODNESS......!!!
I can't believe this.
It is just so....
I can't find a word to describe it....

It tastes so so so LONGKANG (drain, in Malay)!
Okay, okay... We can never taste longkang, right?
So lets put it in another way.

Hmmmm..... It is just like eating a tasteless toufu in a real stink monsoon drain with all the decomposing carcasses of animals and mountains of rubbish around.

Pooh!! The smell so overwhelming! Imagine that.

I fought the very strong urge to spit it out, partly because of I believe in what people said, "try it the second time and you will love it," and mainly because I'm eating a 60 cents smelly toufu.
I swallow it, together with the "longkang" smell.

Now, I feel that my stomach, my intestine, my body smells bad. I start to wonder will it smell that bad also when I break wind???

What happen next is a series of torturing scenes of me trying to stuff the smelly thing into my mouth and swallow it.




Eventually, I toss the last piece (60 cents) into the rubbish bin
here,
in front of the UCSI campus.

I hope that the campus will not fill with the stench.





Because of the ugly taste which pollute my tongue just now, I buy the ice cream from 100 yen to clear it away. So as to neutralise the awful taste just now.

I just love it! (I mean the ice cream).
Yum yum.....
The sweet coffee taste fills all your taste buds the moment it melts in your mouth.
I feel so much better. :)













Since the next day is the Dragon boat festival, dumplings is a must-eat.




Oh, ya...
Try the Chou Toufu next time and you will know what I mean. ( Only if you dare)
Fear Factor challenge...